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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114476">the only way out // ruddiger is the hero of this story</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrayolaColor/pseuds/CrayolaColor'>CrayolaColor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>where the darkness leads [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>He is fine though, basically me writing out a headcanon i've had for awhile, don't know how dark i'm allowed to go on tumblr jdkfjkfkjfjkg, i was not kidding when i kept saying this was dark, might make this canon on my rp blog if i get brave enough, physically, this is a missing scene from between queen for a day and the alchemist returns, tw for what's basically a suicide attempt!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:08:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,804</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrayolaColor/pseuds/CrayolaColor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Varian thinks he only has one choice left, and Ruddiger proves him wrong.</p><p>[TW: This fic includes topics of suicide. Technically, he wouldn't have died even if he'd gone through with what he was going to do, but the implication is there and it deserves a warning anyway.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>varian &amp; ruddiger (disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>where the darkness leads [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the only way out // ruddiger is the hero of this story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Varian was standing in his lab, alone. He didn't remember what he was doing, or what was going on. He was just staring blankly at the floor. And it was so quiet that it sent a chill down his spine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why was it so quiet? Why was he alone?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Surely his dad would be upstairs? Maybe he could call out to him. He looked up, intending to do so, but the call died in his throat when he caught a glint of orange in the corner of his vision.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Turning his blank gaze to the amber, he frowned.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Oh, right. Dad's gone. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a pause after that thought, the silence around him growing all the more deafening. For what felt like forever, he simply listened to the silence, until another thought came to his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>No. That's not right. He isn't gone. </em> </strong><br/>
<br/>
<strong> <em>At least, not forever...<br/>
<br/>
Right?<br/>
</em> </strong>
</p><p>- - - </p><p>Varian snapped awake with a <em>scream</em>, his chair lurching violently backward from the sudden movement. Though he quickly tried to steady it, his efforts proved to be in vain, as the chair proceeded to fall the rest of the way down. </p><p>And of course, it took him with it.</p><p>Ruddiger, who had been napping nearby, squealed in panic and scrambled to get away from the impact zone. The raccoon darted quickly behind a shelf as the chair hit the floor with a loud <em><strong>slam</strong></em>.</p><p>Jolted by the impact, Varian winced, sucking air in between his teeth. He was certain he’d be left with bruises that would hurt for some time, but that was okay. He could deal with that. </p><p>He was used to dealing with bruises. </p><p>
  <strike>Why did he have to be so accident-prone?</strike>
</p><p>The boy got off the chair with a heavy sigh, standing it back up and sliding it against the desk. Then he turned, looking around for Ruddiger. He felt bad- he hadn't meant to scare him.</p><p>“Hey, Ruddiger?” He called. “Where'd you go, buddy? 'S okay to come out now, the danger's... over...” He trailed off, entire body tensing as he caught a glint of orange out of the corner of his eyes. Just like in his nightmare. </p><p>Slowly, he turned fully towards the mass of amber, breath catching in his throat as his eyes met with his father's desperate face. And as he stared at it, the words that had marked the end of that awful dream came to his head again.</p><p>
  <em>He’s not gone. Not forever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>Walking up to the amber, he placed a hand on its cold surface. How long had it been? Months. He knew that much. And how long would his father have been able to survive? Had he already taken too long?</p><p>The possibility was there, and it wasn't all that unlikely. But he couldn't know for sure until the amber had been broken and his father was free, and that in and of itself was likely to take quite some time.</p><p>Truthfully, he'd hit a roadblock. He didn't know what else to do- ever since his dad had been encased, he'd been doing everything in his power to set him free. But he'd reached the point where he was beginning to think he'd tried everything he could.<br/>
<br/>
Varian was snapped out of those depressing thoughts by a concerned trill from by his feet. Jumping just a bit, he looked down and saw Ruddiger sitting there looking back up at him. "Oh, there you are, buddy. 'M sorry I scared you."</p><p>Ruddiger trilled again, rubbing against his legs like a cat.</p><p>Meanwhile, Varian's attention had returned to his desk. What had he been doing before he'd fallen asleep? Maybe he was working on something new, and it had just slipped his mind after his very startling nightmare.</p><p>Stepping away from the amber, he headed back over to it. Ruddiger followed him, hopping up onto the desk and settling down as Varian pulled his chair back out and sat down to investigate the notes he'd been writing before he fell asleep.</p><p>Soon, though, the boy made a very disappointing discovery.</p><p>
  <em>Right. I was just rewriting my old notes on the rocks again- no new information, just the same stuff I've been working with this whole time. </em>
</p><p>So, was that it, then? Did he not have anything else to try? </p><p>His shoulders slumped in defeat. He'd tried everything he could with the research he had and had finally run out of options. How in the world was he meant to keep trying, when he'd done everything he could possibly think of with no results?</p><p>Not to mention that he wasn't even sure anymore if his dad was still alive. And if he wasn't, what would he do then? He wouldn't have anyone left. No family, no friends- except for Ruddiger, maybe. But that was different.</p><p>With a sigh, he looked over the things that were scattered across his desk. A lot of paperwork- more rewrites of the same notes. That was all he'd been doing lately, rewriting those notes in hopes that something new would come to him.</p><p>Along with them, were the remnants of other experiments he'd tried. Various chemicals that he'd mixed with the amber solution, hoping to find some combination that could counteract it and reverse its effects. </p><p>And, again, nothing had come of it.</p><p>Amongst those vials, was a single vial of the amber solution itself. It was mostly empty, with just a little bit left in the bottom. But he'd learned that a little bit went a long way when it came to the amber.</p><p>Half-heartedly, he picked up the vial and swished around the liquid inside. Was there anything else he could try with it that he hadn't yet?</p><p>"C'mon, Varian, think..." He mumbled to himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to come up with some other combination of chemicals that he hadn't tried yet. But still, he was drawing a complete blank. </p><p>Opening his eyes again, he turned to look around the rest of the lab, hoping to spot something that would give him an idea. But instead, his eyes landed once more on the problem itself- the amber. </p><p>Instead of focusing on his father's frozen figure, though, his gaze was drawn to his image reflected on the surface of the amber. He froze at the sight, breath catching in his throat. </p><p>A frown settled on his face, as he deeply considered what he was seeing. He remembered then that he, himself, had come extremely close to being encased in the amber in his father's stead.</p><p>
  <em>It should have been me. </em>
</p><p>The thought rang out in his head, and his frown only deepened. Technically, that was true. It should have been him- after all, his dad had stepped in the way, only narrowly preventing him from meeting that fate.</p><p>But maybe it would have been better if he hadn't. Maybe it would have been better if he had been encased, and his father was still free. ... Maybe it would still be better if he was encased.</p><p>Looking away from the mass of amber, Varian, instead, focused on the vial that he still held in his hand. Couldn't he still do that? Nothing would be stopping him. And he didn't have very many other options left. </p><p>At least, if he couldn't fix what he had done to his father, he could do the same thing to himself. It would only be fair. </p><p>Slipping the vial into his pocket, Varian got up from his chair once more and slid it against the desk like he'd had it before. Ruddiger chittered, tilting his head and hopping down from his perch to join his owner. </p><p>Considering his pet for a moment, Varian realized that if he went through with it, he'd be leaving the poor raccoon alone. He hesitated, glancing from him to the door and back again.</p><p>... He'd be okay, wouldn't he? He could take care of himself.</p><p>"I'm- I'm sorry, buddy." Varian finally said, voice slightly hoarse. "You can't come with me. It's too dangerous. You'd better stay down here." Kneeling, he patted the raccoon on the head, and then stood up. </p><p>Swallowing thickly, he turned away from Ruddiger and didn't look back. He couldn't allow himself to hesitate or think too long about what he'd be leaving behind. He'd end up doubting the choice he had made. </p><p>He <em>couldn't</em> doubt it, because there were no other options left. What else could he do? Just sit around for three more months, or six more months, or a year, trying desperately to think of another solution?</p><p>That wouldn't get him anywhere.</p><p>He had one idea. One direction he knew he could take to get him out of the crisis he'd been in since that awful night of the snowstorm. If he thought about it too long, maybe it would scare him.</p><p>But he didn't allow himself to.</p><p>Instead, he forced his mind to be blank as he went out the door to his lab and up the steps into the living room. And from there, he didn't stop until he was out the front door.</p><p>He stopped on the front porch for a moment, looking out over his abandoned and ruined village. Old Corona had once been his home, but the rocks had destroyed so much that there was practically nothing left.</p><p>Proceeding down the stone steps of his porch, he walked a straight path towards the wall of black rocks that had nearly blocked off his village at one end. He couldn't quite remember when it had gotten that bad, but it seemed to be the worst of it. </p><p>For Old Corona, at least. Presumably, they were still growing outside of the village and would reach the capital relatively soon. But he couldn't find it in him to care about the people of Corona anymore. </p><p>The one time he'd tried to go to the capital after the snowstorm, he'd been run out over a rumor that he'd attacked Princess Rapunzel. His own memories of what had happened the night his father was encased were admittedly kind of foggy, but he really didn't think that he had done anything to harm the princess.</p><p>But if they hated him that much, then he was sure that they'd be happy for him to be finally out of the way for good. That in mind, he stopped in front of the wall of rocks and retrieved the vial of the amber solution from his pocket.</p><p>He gave a faint, bitter laugh. Would anyone even wonder what had become of him? It didn't seem likely. It had been months since he'd first come to Rapunzel for help, and he hadn't heard from her or anyone since.</p><p>
  <em>They all just <strong>forgot</strong> about me!</em>
</p><p>With a sudden burst of emotion, he smashed the glass tube against the rocks with his palm. The sharp edges of the glass pierced through his glove from the pressure, leaving his hand cut and bleeding. </p><p>He hurriedly pulled his hand away from the rocks and instinctively stepped away as the amber began to grow out towards him. However, he made sure to stop while he was still close enough for it to reach him.</p><p>He watched quietly as it continued to expand, reaching out closer and closer to him and threatening to encase him just like it had done to his father. And that was what he wanted, wasn't it?</p><p>The boy sat down, resting his head on his knees and closing his eyes as he waited for the amber to finally reach him. </p><p>And then, he heard a raccoon chittering behind him.</p><p>Varian jumped, head snapping up at the sound. He turned around with wide eyes, tensing at the sight of Ruddiger sitting right behind him. "<em>Ah</em>! What are you-" He stood up, hurriedly grabbing the raccoon and moving out of range of the amber.</p><p>"Ruddiger! I... I-I told you to stay in my lab!" He felt sick with guilt- he didn't want to take his pet with him! The raccoon was completely innocent in everything that had happened. He deserved to be free. </p><p>Ruddiger whimpered sadly in response and quickly jumped out of Varian's grasp once they were no longer in range of the amber. Running back towards the house, he stopped and chittered frantically after noticing that his owner hadn't immediately followed him. </p><p>Varian hesitated, glancing back at the amber that continued to grow out from the massive wall of black rocks. It had already overtaken the spot where he had previously been sitting and was still expanding outwards.</p><p>Ruddiger repeated his frantic chittering, running back up to the boy and tugging on his pants' leg. </p><p>Looking down at him, tears started to come to Varian's eyes. "Okay- okay, Ruddiger. I'm listening. I'm listening." Leaning down, he picked up his pet again and began walking towards his house. </p><p>"I-I'm sorry, Ruddi. 'M so sorry. I didn't- I didn't know what else to do!" He said as he reached the front door. By now, he was legitimately crying, tears flooding his eyes and pouring down his cheeks.</p><p>Once the two of them were in the house, he let Ruddiger down and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and face with his shirt sleeve. The fresh cuts in his palm stung, reminding him that he needed to check and make sure that he didn't still have glass embedded in it.</p><p>The sight of blood still bothered him, to say the least, but he hoped he could force himself to deal with it without fainting. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, he noted that Ruddiger had disappeared. "Ruddiger?" He called, voice coming out quieter than he'd meant for it too.   "Where are you, buddy?" He continued, raising his voice a little.</p><p>The raccoon's response came from the hallway where Varian and his father's bedrooms were. Blinking, the young alchemist followed the sound and found his pet sitting in front of the door to his dad's room. </p><p>"What're you doing <em>here</em>...?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Ruddiger chittered in reply, easily pushing through the door and disappearing on the other side of it. </p><p>"Hey! Wait, you- you know we're not supposed to go in there!" Varian called after his pet, but it seemed he'd already made up his mind. Sighing, the boy finally followed him into the room.</p><p>"Okay, this'd better be important." </p><p>As it turned out, the raccoon was sitting on top of a large chest. Strangely, it was in the middle of the floor rather than up on a shelf somewhere. </p><p>Maybe his dad had been doing something with it before he'd been encased in the amber. </p><p>Then, he suddenly remembered something important. The argument that had led up to his father being encased- he had been hiding something from him, about the rocks.</p><p>Wasn't it possible, then, that his dad had something stowed away in his room that had more information about them? And what better place to put something like that than... a chest. </p><p>Hope sparked within him, for the first time in a while.</p><p>"Thank you, Ruddiger! This might be a lead!" Hurrying over to the chest, he knelt in front of it. His pet raccoon hopped off of it so that he could open it, settling down next to it instead.</p><p>Upon opening the chest, the first thing Varian was greeted with was what appeared to be pieces of a suit of armor. It wasn't what he was looking for, but it was a surprising discovery none-the-less.</p><p>Pulling out the helmet at the top, Varian examined it. "Did... did this belong to dad?" It must have. The chest was in his room, after all. But he couldn't remember his dad ever talking about being involved in a battle.</p><p>"How much has he been keeping from me all this time?" He mumbled. He made a mental note of the emblem on the helmet- it wasn't one he'd ever seen before, and he fully intended to do some research on it when he had the time. However, that would be a side project. </p><p>His first priority was finding a way to free his father from the amber. Maybe then, should he be alive, he could just ask him about the armor.</p><p>For the time being, he put the helmet to the side. </p><p>The next thing that caught his attention, aside from the rest of the armor and what appeared to be a sword, was something that was wrapped up in a blanket. He couldn't tell what it was, but he intended to find out.</p><p>Taking it out of the chest, he unwrapped it and discovered it to be some sort of graphtyc. The key was with it, already placed inside the lock. Holding his breath, Varian unlocked it and pulled out its contents.</p><p>It was a piece of a scroll.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This took me SO long to finally finish, and I'm still not sure that I'm entirely happy with it. But I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway!&lt;3 Please let me know what you thought!!</p><p>[ Also, no, I don't at the moment intend to continue this, despite the somewhat of a cliffhanger I left it on. After this, canon events pick up- Varian translates the scroll, finds out he needs the Sundrop flower, and then cue The Quest for Varian and The Alchemist Returns. I might write out more about that eventually, but not rn. </p><p>That wasn't the main point of this fic! It was mostly to explore how bad Varian's mental health might have spiraled while he was alone, and his relationship with Ruddiger. He gets a LOT more attached to the raccoon after this. c: ]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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